Dear, Sweet Tenderheart

Creative Commons by  by Pink Sherbet Photography

I've admitted it before and I'll say it again, I'm a crybaby.  I cry at Hallmark commercials, when a friend writes something particularly nostalgic in an e-mail, when my daughter's feelings get hurt, when other's feelings get hurt, when I realize how much God loves us.

I just break down.

That's OK though, there's a lot of people who don't cry and they are toughies and there are things that I admire about that, mostly that they can get through something important without a river of snot coming out of their noses.  That's good, especially when you're in front of strangers.

But, sometimes it's good when another person is crying to just let it all out yourself.  Case in point, I remember the day I went to see my counselor shortly after my world crumbled apart, she cried with me.  She saw the pain I was going through and she identified and she mourned with me.

I went to pick up Little A from school two weeks ago and it was the saddest sight: as I got closer to the jazzed fray of kids waiting to be picked up at the carpool cluster, I couldn't find her at first--because she was hiding behind one of the portico pillars bawling her eyes out.  I leaned over her and asked, "What's wrong, sweetheart?  Did you hurt yourself?"  She shook her head and managed to get out "I--I--I didn't get student of the month-AGAIN.  Thi--<sob>--this was my last chance and I didn't even get it."<sob>

I put my arms around her and gave her a big squeeze and said into her ear, "I'm so sorry sweetheart.  I know how much you wanted that."  It's true, this is her second year in this school and she's been trying so hard, getting all smiley faces on her progress reports, doing her assignments on time, but the truth is, the odds are tough.  There's about 22 kids in her class, and only nine chances a year to be student of the month.  I'm not a mathematician, but factor in weather, her birthdate, the full moon and what she wore to school that day, I'm pretty sure her chances were a billion to one, well, that's what it felt like, anyway.

We had to make a trip into the school office to drop something off and she continued to cry.  We're standing there, patiently waiting for an audience with Ms. Smith, and her little friend, Brian*, from class comes up to her  and asks, "Why're you crying?"  Little A tries to explain through tears and hand gestures and finally, he looks up at me with his tender, big brown eyes, "Why's she crying?"  "Well, she missed student of the month and she's wanted it for two years now and this month was her last chance for the year.  Pretty rotten, eh?"  Brian nods, his face falls and he tells me, "I've never been student of the month either." And he puts his sweet 6-year-old arms around Little A, and embraces her, book bag and all.  He holds her for a few seconds and then Little A pushes him away a bit, probably a little embarrassed about hugging a boy in front of her momma and Brian looks up at me, and he's crying.  And guess what?  When I see him crying, I start crying and here we all are in the school office, three empathetic messes.  Brian silently shuffles away and I call out "Thank you for the hug, Brian!"  And Little A and I try to put on our big girl faces, as I offer ice cream as a consolation on our way across the crosswalk.

Sidenote: She also got a scraped knee and a hole in her jeans that day, things just weren't going her way...but somehow, ice cream helped us both cope with the disappointment.

Sometimes there's nothing better than having a friend empathize with you, hold you close and agree, "Yep, this is about the most rotten day/season you could have and I completely understand."  I can't tell you how much that reaction that has helped me over the last few years and it makes me think of this verse: II Corinthians 1: 3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort  those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

God takes what we've been through, those sometimes terrible and seemingly endless winters of our lives and turns them into sweet things--the spring of being able to hold someone close or lend a listening ear or just be with them.  It's about the best gift you can give.

*name changed

Fundraising, Small Beginnings, and God's Mathematics

As promised, I wanted to post a little update on "A Night for Orphans."  Overwhelming success?  It depends on what you count as overwhelming--but a success nonetheless.  We raised about $550 towards a new duplicating machine for Adacar, had one child sponsored, and when it was all said and done and I learned A LOT.  About not relying on myself, on who and how to look to for help and once again, how amazing friends are to support you in your endeavors, and if you pour your heart into something and you share it, that's all that matters anyway.

Time: 7:15ish pm, April 5th, 2013

The setting: All Souls Fellowship

The actors: One Nervous Organizer who has just come from the bathroom where she had been on her knees praying in the big stall that this night would be a success.

Enter stage left: Nervous Organizer, approaches evening's MC and says, "Well, let's get this party started."  This may or may not have been the exact words out of the N.O.'s mouth and the Kind MC very nervously smiles and says, looking around at the small number of attendees and people trickling in, "It's gonna be ok, it's gonna be great."  This is when N.O.'s heart sinks just a smidgen for half a millisecond and she decides that courage, fortitude, and blind ignorance is the best dress for the final performance.  N.O. gets texts:

-Sorry, I'm sick.

-Sorry, I just can't make it tonight.

-What was the address again?

It's ok, N.O. (N.O. is me) takes deep breathes and Sacred Harp starts singing and it is beautiful and it comes from the heart and it is earnest and I am reminded why they gather to sing together as often as they can because something about it it soul-healing...and the rest of the evening, really goes off without a hitch, and I am grateful.  And just like other events in my life, I think, "Whoo-hoo!  Wait, it's over already?  How can that be?" Somebody take a picture.  And why can't I have that time-out power that Zack had on Saved By the Bell so I could freeze time for just one minute to savor the moment?

I believe God's purposes were accomplished no matter the numbers.  I've seen clearly that God's mathematics never, ever make sense, but turn out to be so much better than my own.

And here was the best text I got that night:

-Don't be discouraged.  God uses small beginnings.

Zachariah 4:10 (NLT) Do not despise these small beginnings for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.

Care to share a time that things didn't turn out exactly how you had planned but turned out to be the start of something amazing?



 

Our Responsibilities in the Family of God

Yes, I know, it's been a while since I've written, my apologies.  The fundraiser has consumed my time over the last few weeks, but more on that soon, I've got to get this down while it's fresh.

So, it's on to the book of I John for today.

The first 3 chapters focus on light, love, and the family of God.  It goes without saying, like every other passage in scripture, that this is convicting, we cannot live as children of light--children of Christ--while we harbor hatred towards another.  It is spiritually impossible.   But for now, I'd like to concentrate on Chapter 2:12-17:

I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.  I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning.  I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.  I write to you dear children because you have known the Father.  I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning.  I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

So, let's break this down:

1) Children: your sins have been forgiven on account of my name, you have known the Father

2) Fathers: you have known Him who is from the beginning

3) Young Men: you have overcome the evil one because you are strong and the word of God lives in you

This is such a beautiful picture of how a Christian progresses in his/her faith, it starts with the forgiveness of sins and truly coming to know the Father.  Once we know the Father, we can trust him, we are empowered, we can cull from the pool of knowledge of what we have seen God do and move forward unashamedly towards his purposes for us.  Finally, I think it's very interesting and notable that the "father's" description does not change in these verses, twice it says, "because you have known him who is from the beginning." Fathers knowing THE Father, this is brought about in no other way except through spiritual maturity, continual testing and just plain knowledge.  So here is our charge, what do we do with spiritual children?  We teach them, we encourage them, we share examples with them, admonish them and encourage them to grow.  And for our young men and women in the faith?  We CHALLENGE them, we spur them on to greater heights, greater faith, greater delving in the Word of God.  Fathers, (and mothers!) I'm talking to you, now.  You can't keep your light under a bushel, you've got to let it continually shine for the children, the young men and women.

A good friend of mine shared a story she wrote about her two-year-old daughter, how she is challenged in her own faith as she watches how this bold and reckless little girl approaches life--how she charges toward her daddy as soon as he gets home and leaps up, knowing he's going to catch her, because he always does--And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident  and unashamed before him at his coming. (2:28)

photo licenced under Creative Commons, brianna.lehman

A Night for Orphans in ATL

Ok, it's been ruminating long enough, there's something pretty spectacular that's about to happen in Atlanta, and I want you to be a part of it:

A Sponsorship and Fundraising event that's gonna knock your socks off, but you have to attend, it won't be enough to like us on Facebook, although that would be really nice and you can do that here.  It won't be enough for you for read about it and say, "That's cool.  I hope it goes well."  It won't be enough unless you're there, so I'll tell you a little bit more about it and hope that's all the fuel you'll need to get yourselves here April 5th at 7 p.m.

It's been a little while since I've talked about Adacar, shared about Martin, but there's more to my story, more to Martin's story and I am going to share all about it that evening.  I also want to say two more things:

1) Ok, I may have stretched the truth just a teensy bit to get you to come to the event by saying the only way you can make a difference is to be there, but there is a way you can contribute even if you are miles away: sponsor a child in Adacar by going here.

2) Almost four years ago, my friend, Melanie, "caught the vision" that Children's HopeChest was establishing for Adacar, and has recently given us an update on it's progress here.  It is simply amazing and nothing but God when you see how far it's come.  She also recently shared on where they are heading, and that is what this fundraiser is all about, raising money for a ditto machine and a scholarship fund.  As she mentioned in her post, primary education in Adacar is free right now, but secondary education is about $600/year, a fee these kids or their caretakers simply cannot afford.

So, come, bring a listening ear for some beautiful music brought to you by the Sacred Harp Singers of Atlanta and spending money to purchase some beautiful fair trade goods as well those made in our very own peach state.

I'll leave you with the details:

Friday, April 5, 2013

7-9 pm

All Souls Fellowship

647 E College Ave

Decatur, GA 30033

And on This Rock

It's hard for me to put into words the emotion I felt when I read of what happen to Peter after--after the denial, after the break down--Joy at his redemption? Grief at my own heart being just like his?

Most likely gratitude for a Savior who sees who I am but also sees my potential.

I would have done the same thing Peter did, or worse, I probably would have been one of the 11 who scattered, or worse yet, I very well could have been Judas.  Who knows.  But this week's study in Mark 14 was dense, heavy, took a while to process and still while recapping, I feel like I've mentally blocked certain parts out because the chapter moves so quickly: from the nagging reminder of the chief priests wanting somehow to find a way to arrest Jesus, to a broken alabaster jar, to the Lord's Supper, Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane for this cup of death to be removed from him, to his arrest, "trial" before the Sanhedrin and finally the details of Peter's denial.  It's a lot to take in, and Jesus lived it.

There are so many rich lessons in this chapter, but I want to concentrate on Peter, the Rock.  Our study guide put it in this way, "His failure is always emphasized within this context but, from another perspective, his failure is known only because he demonstrated courage."  While all the other disciples fled, Peter stayed behind to at least see how Jesus was doing--I can't imagine the fear that presided over his heart to see his best friend, his teacher, his mentor arrested for no good reason, while realizing that one of the "trusted 12" was the one responsible for this--and every conversation that Jesus had had with his disciples about the end flashing through his brain.  What was it that compelled Peter to stay?

We don't know, we only know that Jesus saw it coming...

Jesus had said to him in Luke 22:32, "When you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."

Here, our study guide refers us to Acts 4:1-22, and this is where the tears flow in gratitude as Jesus' personal commission to Peter is fulfilled (emphasis mine):

The priests and the captain of the temple guard and the Sadducees came up to Peter and John while they were speaking to the people.  They were greatly disturbed because the apostles were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection of the dead.  They seized Peter and John, and because it was evening, they put them in jail until the next day.  But many who heard the message believed, and the number of men grew to about five thousand.

The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met in Jerusalem.  Annas the high priest was there, and so were Caiaphas, John, Alexander and the other men of the high priest's family.  They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them: "By what power or what name did you do this?"

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: "Rulers and elders of the people!  If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: Is is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed.  He is 'the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone.'  Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

[Here is where, if I were in the courtroom, you'd hear me whoop and holler and get led out by the 1st Century equivalent of the bailiff]

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.  But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say."

They had them taken away, conferred among themselves, saying that even though they have healed someone that the whole town knows was lame, that they must stop them from spreading the name of Jesus, so they call them back in and continue to bully them into being silent.

But Peter and John were not deterred.

Keep reading, my friends, the rest of this 4th chapter of Acts is POWERFUL.

So, not only does Peter defend himself, he delivers the gospel message, confounds the Sanhedrin who tries to silence him and he and John are let go after further threats.

Like a bull in a china shop, Peter bullies his way through this court and he is victorious.  Our God is victorious.  If this isn't boldness, I don't know what is.

And so, I here I stand, afraid to speak to the girl in the checkout line when He prompts me to--what do I do?  Where do I start?  "Jesus loves you, he really does, he died for you.  He has a plan for you and joy unspeakable."  But why do I hesitate and feel paralyzed?  Why do I back down and leave?  It's fear.  Fear that she will judge my like all the other "religious" people she has ever encountered.  Those who look at her rough exterior and immediately look away.

Am I any better when I can't even find the words to say?

Living as Children of the Light

Before we can behave as children of the light, we must be children of the light.  Our ability to act in the right ways stems from who we are, not the other way around.*

I read these words as I was preparing this blog post on Mark 13.  This is one of those chapters of the Bible that you kinda want to read with your covers over your head.  This is serious stuff: wars, rumors of wars, earthquakes, famine.  Sound familiar?  These are the last days, I know Christians have been thinking this since the 1st Century,  but the time of Christ's return is imminent and always has been and Jesus compels his listeners to be prepared in the final verses of this chapter--he admonishes, that no one, not even he, Jesus, knows the day or the hour of the second return (32).  And for that reason, he likens it to the owner of a house leaving his servants in charge.  He could return at the break of day, dinnertime, just as everyone is settling in to bed...it's the feeling of having your house on the market.  Everything must be ready at all times and you find yourself getting irritated at your kid for taking out a puzzle because your agent could call at 8:30 am with a 20 minute warning that "very motivated" buyers are coming with them.

So how can we be ready, at any moment to "move," to have our lives transformed, in a moment, a twinkling of an eye?

Explicit instructions are contained in I Thessalonians 5:1-11:

But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.  You are all sons of the light and sons of the day.  We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.  So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.  For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night.  But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.  For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.  He DIED for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.  Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Why does scripture associate the unknown with darkness?  There are movements in the wee hours that are inexplicable, things that go bump in the night, but as children of the LIGHT, we illuminate the world around us, we compel people to see things as they really are, we expose the darkness and we have an abiding peace that a restless world is seeking.  We share that peace, we share that hope in the way that we approach a given trial.  Goodness knows, I don't have this peace down yet.

But even more than that, it's how we live.  We live in such a way to make every moment, every conversation, count.  We can't beat ourselves up if we miss the opportunity to invite the new neighbors to church, but we do need to live in such a way that they see why we do something different on Sunday morning.

So, it's not about what we do, it is who we are, we should be self-controlled, sober, alert, always abounding in the work of the Lord, joyful in hope, patient in affliction.  Here's the reassuring part, we are given the equipment to do this.  We CAN do this: helmets, shields, breastplates, these protect our vitals--where we are the most vulnerable to attack: our head and our heart.  My sister-in-law (otherwise known as my scripture with legs) reminded recently me that Satan is relentless, we too must relentless in remaining in the Light.

*"Heart Language: Reclaiming Christian Vocabulary."  InTouch Feb. 2013: pp. 50-51.

Family Rules: Guest Post

Hello Friends!

I've been meaning to share this with you all for some time now.  Kristen is a stay-at-home mom, homeschooling extraordinaire, runner, world's best quilter (seriously) and downright awesome person.  She love kids and babies and has four of her own.  I've known her since we were eight and frankly, she's more fabulous than I can describe in words.  If you had to whittle it down to one thing that your friend was super-fantastic at, I'd have to say that Kristen is an awesome practical advice-giver, my free counselor.  Everyone should be so lucky :)

And speaking of advice-giving I wanted to share Kristen's words of wisdom when it comes to parenting ( I love this post 'cause the picture is pretty old, they've added another one to their brood since then).  When you're done soaking up her momma wisdom, you can visit her over here.

Thank you, readers and thank you, Kristen!

A few months ago, a homeschooling mom of 6 shared with me their family motto that I immediately stole and put to work in our family! Are you ready for it? Here it is:

We will obey,
the first time, the right way
and with a cheerful attitude.

I love it! Now, oftentimes, I just have to call out, "First time, Boo," and he'll stop, turn around and obey. It works so well, but we noticed there were still areas where that rule doesn't apply.

We needed more rules. My kids needed to know what's expected of them. Too often, Mr. Smarty and I would find ourselves beyond frustrated, when simply the kiddos didn't know they were breaking a rule. We hadn't taught them. They only learned the rules in our house when it becomes painfully obvious to us parents that there needed to be a spoken rule. And until late, there haven't been any rules, except the Obey Mantra, and more than enough frustration.

I remembered a few guidelines for creating classroom rules that I had learned when I was going through my teaching certification and sat down with the kids at our IKEA easel (thank you, Christy) and talked through some new rules for our family to function and thrive.

ARRIVE TOGETHER
I had our rules in mind, but as we talked, I led the discussion so we arrived at a new rule together.

LESS IS MORE
I limited our rules to 5, and made them broad enough to encompass several trespasses. For example, "Don't hit" is not a rule, but "Respect others" (or be considerate to others) is. Now this rule also includes not making messes for other people to clean up. Other people...I wonder who that could be...

STATE THE POSITIVE
Each rule is stated in the positive form. Rather than having the rule, "Don't lie," I phrased it in the positive: "Tell the truth." This puts the focus on what they CAN do, not everything they can't.

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
There are two other rules on our list to target areas where we saw growth was needed (how's that for being positive?). These may change as we grow. For now, they are:

"Be thankful" (which I expanded with-Have an Attitude of Gratitude-simply because the kids think it's fun to say). This rule helps with dinnerertime conversations about not complaining about what's on our plates.

and "Work hard." (this was after Belle finished her school work much earlier than usual one day. I asked her why it normally takes her so much longer, and she said, "I'm lazy." She's five and calls herself lazy! While I'm glad she's aware enough to recognize she was being lazy, I don't want that to be part of her identity in any way.

I love that now when I see a behavior that I want corrected, I can site a rule that they are aware of and "helped" form. They already agree with the rule, so there needs to be little discussion about correcting the behavior. It also is helpful for me to be more consistent with correcting and training my kids.

Enter our New and Improved Family Rules (trumpets blowing)! (with simple verses for when there are discussions)

Obey - Eph. 6:1 "Children, obey your parents..."

Respect Others -Mt. 7:12 "Do to others as you would have them do to you..."

Tell the Truth - Prov. 12:22 "The LORD delights in those who are truthful."

Be Thankful -1 Thess. 5:18 "In everything, give thanks..."

Work Hard - Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."