David: a man after God’s own heart. You know what I love about David--aside from writing some of the most beautiful pieces of prose found in the Bible? Is that he was human--full of doubts, fears, insecurities--confident in the Lord one minute, scared and uncertain the next.
I am like this. I see His goodnesses--tangible, mind-blowing answers to prayer and yet I still doubt God’s sovereignty. I experience his protection, but become surrounded on every side and cower in fear. I am wronged and I want revenge. God gives me blessings beyond measure and I selfishly crave more.
David had defeated Goliath, God had given him victory, success, fame and yet he feared: I Samuel 27:1
David hid from Saul: I Samuel 20:5,
When the going got tough, he lied: I Samuel 27
David was wronged by Nabal and wanted revenge: I Samuel 25:13-33
David had a powerful kingdom, several beautiful wives, yet he craved more: II Samuel 11: 2-3
I find myself doing this, God has provided, He has protected, I testify--and then I mumble my doubts. But because I don’t know exactly what is going to happen 1, 2, 3 months from now, I fear, I start getting antsy.
If David was an emotional carousel, then I’m a roller coaster.
Is this the same man that wrote Psam 62?
1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault me?
Would all of you throw me down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 Surely they intend to topple me
from my lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie.
If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
10 Do not trust in extortion
or put vain hope in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things I have heard:
“Power belongs to you, God,
12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
and, “You reward everyone
according to what they have done.”
Indeed it is.
Find yourself on the up and down in just a matter of hours? Care to share?
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